tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10878816790132106962024-03-13T09:15:10.300-07:00Wolf In A Gorilla Suit (In Gym Clothes)The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-62643424101232609202014-01-19T21:10:00.001-08:002014-01-19T21:19:14.926-08:00Guide: What Supplements to Take and to Avoid<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7hq6iOC8G8s/UtyuTFppOKI/AAAAAAAABA8/k7w-GAE6WB4/s1600/Hulk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7hq6iOC8G8s/UtyuTFppOKI/AAAAAAAABA8/k7w-GAE6WB4/s1600/Hulk.jpg" height="640" width="412" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It would be cool, but it doesn't happen.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I’ve discussed supplementing briefly before
<a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/04/first-thing-first-supplementing-resting.html">in this post</a>, in which I basically talk about our inherent belief in the magic
Hulkout potion that will magically transform us into Mr. Olympia overnight and,
more importantly, how it doesn’t actually exist.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I also talked about how I generally prefer
you <b>don’t take supplements at all during
the first several (eight) weeks of your training</b>, so you use this time to
learn how to feed yourself better without relying on any type of supplements
(as a lot of times in your bodybuilding life you won’t have supplements to rely
on).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
That being said, it is important for you to know about supplements because
while they won’t turn you into your favorite superhero, they certainly will
give you a boost that is quite frankly very important. Following, I’m going to
describe the five things I think you should take into consideration when
shopping for supplements, and which ones to avoid.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">THE IMPORTANT ONES<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Whey
Protein</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Protein is an extremely important element
in your nutrition plan. Though the bulk of your intake should be carbs, you’re
not going to gain a pound of muscle if you don’t ingest the basic building
blocks of muscle. Whey protein is basically the precious nutrient you’d find in
fish or beef, but in convenient powder form.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
What’s cool about this supplement is that you can very easily measure your
intake, you can beef up the number of calories you take when you take it, and
you can just drink it down like a milkshake, easily putting in your body the
equivalent nutrients of eating a big piece of chicken. It goes down easy, often
tastes great (especially if taken with milk which also boosts the caloric
content), and you can eat again soon after taking it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
There aren’t many downsides to whey protein. It’s easy to mix, easy to boost,
and relatively cheap. The biggest problem here is that the product is so
popular that choosing one at the store might be a nightmare. My favorite one is
probably <b>Syntha-6</b> by BSN. Not
necessarily the cheapest, but the best mix of flavor, value, and results.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"> When to take it:</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> The dose depends on your caloric intake, but the best moments to take it is
half an hour before your workout and immediately after your workout. This will
ensure your muscles get flooded with protein in the moment they need it the
most.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Creatine</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l3QgWW6r9QM/Utyuk7imy9I/AAAAAAAABBE/44u9up1g9Y4/s1600/Spoonful-Creatine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l3QgWW6r9QM/Utyuk7imy9I/AAAAAAAABBE/44u9up1g9Y4/s1600/Spoonful-Creatine.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not to be confused with other white powders.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Creatine is an aminoacid that’s naturally
produced by your liver and is an essential building block that keeps your
muscles from liquefying. As such, a surplus of creatine in your muscles is a must
to make them grow. Creatine is pretty awesome because it is by far the most
useful and cheapest supplement, and it has pretty much zero side effects.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You can find creatine in powders from
pretty much every single supplement manufacturing lab, which also makes picking
one kind of hard. I didn’t take creatine before but I started recently, and my
creatine of choice is Dymatize’s Creatine Micronized. It’s very cheap,
tasteless and very easy to take. You can’t go wrong with it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 35.4pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">When to take it:</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> with
creatine, there is a phase-based dosage cycle to make its effects optimal. <b>I recommend checking the label in the
bottle to be sure</b>, but the basic gist is you need to ‘cover’ your muscles
with the stuff at first, which means you take 25g, divided by 5 servings of 5g
a day, for a week. Then, for the length of the cycle, you take 5g a day for
about six or seven weeks. Then, you take some time off it, and begin a new
cycle.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">MultiVitamin<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AQSTKH7SKso/Utyu3tk5sfI/AAAAAAAABBM/nEtoatAuksc/s1600/Multivitamin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AQSTKH7SKso/Utyu3tk5sfI/AAAAAAAABBM/nEtoatAuksc/s1600/Multivitamin.jpg" height="277" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Taking pills is kind of breaking a wall
when you’re taking supplements because pills are scarier than powders. The only
supplement that comes in pill form that I can 100% guarantee is helpful and
will not damage your body in any way is a multivitamin. This is a pill that
millions of people, bodybuilders or not, take casually.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Basically this won’t directly affect your
muscle growth like protein and creatine would, but it’s really important for
general health. Getting the correct amount of vitamins in your body (which you
can also find easily in fruit and vegetables) will guarantee faster muscle
growth, strength, better sleep, better hair, better nails, better bones, etc.
Again, this won’t turn you into Superman, but the feeling of general health is
definitely there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 35.4pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">When to take it:</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> Depending
the dosage of each pill, you’re good to take one pill before bed every night.
With MV it really doesn’t matter so much.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">THE UNIMPORTANT ONES<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Nitric
Oxide</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">A lot of bodybuilders would give me shit
for putting this here. Nitric Oxide is pretty damn awesome, but it has several
drawbacks you definitely need to consider.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7l0Ch9iw968/UtyvFTiEX1I/AAAAAAAABBU/5qQHyUDgbr4/s1600/HulkToilet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7l0Ch9iw968/UtyvFTiEX1I/AAAAAAAABBU/5qQHyUDgbr4/s1600/HulkToilet.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My first times on Nitric Oxide.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The good thing is that taking Nitric Oxide
is the closest thing there is to taking the magic Megahulk Elixir. You know
that feeling when you’re working out and your muscles harden? That’s what’s
called ‘the pump’, and nitric oxide promotes that. What it does is rush into
your blood and engorges your muscles. The effects it gives you are amazing:
first, a tingly drunken feeling that just makes you want to go out, climb the
Empire State Building and roar, banging your chest; second, once you actually
start working out, it really pumps your muscles with blood, making them just
grow and harden in front of your eyes, even making your veins pop the hell out.
Third, it makes you want to work out harder and for a longer time. This taken
in tandem with a pre and post-workout serving of protein, ensures that the
protein reaches your muscles during your workout, and during recovery, when
they need it the most.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
The bad thing is that after you return to being Bruce Banner—and it happens
relatively quickly—there aren’t a whole bunch of lasting effects on your body,
which means that you’re paying for the <i>feeling</i>
of turning into a monster in the gym for a while instead of for an actual
lasting effect on your muscles. Considering this isn’t exactly cheap, it’s far
from being an imperative part of your diet. What’s worse, is that this one does
have some poor side effects. Let’s talk about them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Most NO2 products
will give you the shits, which is an industry term for a terribly upset
stomach: diarrhea, cramps, farts like mustard gas, maybe nausea. The worst
thing about it is that I can’t recommend a specific product and guarantee it
won’t make you want to shit out your amygdalae. I haven’t been able to find a
product everyone agrees causes or doesn’t cause an upset stomach. When I first
took NO XPlode, it worked for me, but when I took it again, it was the poops.
Another shitty side effect is that it might give you the jitters and cause
sleeplessness. You need to be careful if you don’t want to spend a long
restless night shaking like you got Parkinson’s.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Also, you will develop a tolerance rather quickly, which will mean you’ll have
to take more and more. And what’s worse, you might become entirely dependent to
it. Not <i>addicted</i>, but if you’ll find
yourself less willing to hit the weights without it. These are all things you
need to consider. I’ve found two products that have never failed me or given me
poor sides: Bullnox Androrush by Betancourt and Jack3d Micro by USP Labs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Again, if you’re
interested in that awesome feeling which I genuinely love, look into reviews of
each product, but there will still need to be some experimentation on your part
before you find an NO2 product that works for you without turning you into a
shaky shitting machine.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Weight Gainers<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iyTIwBCdjMs/UtyvUZUSkqI/AAAAAAAABBc/mDPjTGcWFWk/s1600/WeightGain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iyTIwBCdjMs/UtyvUZUSkqI/AAAAAAAABBc/mDPjTGcWFWk/s1600/WeightGain.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pretty much.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I definitely
think that weight gainers get a bad rep. Weight gainers are powders like
protein, but they come with carbs and fats, as well as a lot more crap to up
the calorie count in each scoop. The good thing about it is that it’s extremely
easy to put a shitload of calories into your body. The bad thing is that
depending on the product, those calories might be mainly coming from sugar and
filler instead of protein, carbs or fats.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This is where you
need to stick to respectable brands and check out the reviews. Yeah, you’re
very skinny and your body will be great at processing the sugar and filler, but
you want to get muscular, not fat. I’ve found Monster Mass by CytroSport and
Carnivore Mass by MuscleMeds to be pretty good in general. Don’t be too afraid
of these, but don’t use them to substitute your meals.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="font-size: large;">THE ONES TO AVOID</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Testosterone
Boosters</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Though Bullnox
claims to have testosterone boosting agents (and if it does I never noticed),
this is a supplement you need to avoid. A lot of labs promote test testosterone
boosters as a safe alternative to steroids, which really sounds like a great
thing if you want the effects of steroids but are too afraid to take them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">See, there are
several types of anabolic steroids. When you take them, you’re putting in your
body a chemical that imitates the effects of testosterone. In a great world,
that means quick and amazing muscle growth and loss of fat, but with some scary
side effects that go from acne and hair loss to gynecomastia (man boobs that
can only be removed through surgery), liver disease, and shrunken testicles.
Yes, a lot of these side effects can be taken away or even entirely avoided if
you know what you’re doing, but it’s still a scary road to take. Testosterone
boosters claim to have these effects, if on a lesser capacity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Again, it sounds great, but the truth is that you’re more likely to see the bad
effects of steroids than the good ones, and that if the pill works at all. If
you’re unfamiliar with the hormonal chemistry of your body, and don’t have a
doctor to help you do hormonal supplements/steroids in a safe way, you need to
stay the fuck away from this, promising as though it may look. You might fuck
up your body for good.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">That’s all for
now. There are other supplements that might be helpful (like aminoacids), but
for now this feels like a good guide for you to get started. You just need to
research every thing you decide put in your body. Remember a lot of this stuff
isn’t playing around, so be smart and don’t take anything that will cause you
short-term or long-term damage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-27166213333229972402013-11-19T01:48:00.001-08:002013-11-21T19:19:31.901-08:00Your Ideal Body, or “I don’t want to get too big”.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Lately, I’ve been talking about my own journey in bodybuilding with others. Not
by my own will, as I don’t really talk in detail about the physical
transformation I’ve gone through in the last years. It’s not something I ever
bring up by myself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Mainly, this happens more than before because there
was a huge change in my life a few months ago. I won’t go into details because
who the hell cares, but let’s just say that whoever is writing my life decided
I had grown too comfortable this season and decided to Shayamalan my shit. In
the fallout of the big twist, I was left with a deep necessity to meet new
people and rekindle old friendships I might have neglected. It’s extremely difficult
for me, especially now that I’m older, but it’s something that I’ve had to do
and have done pretty well.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Nowadays, when I meet new people, the first
thing they see is a big hairy guy, and “what did you do to get big?” is a
question that asks itself. Not because I’m so striking and monstrous, but because it’s an obvious ice-breaker in social situations.
Now, like I said, I’ve also been busy trying to renew friendships with people
who hadn’t seen me in years, when I was 100+ lbs smaller, inches shorter, and
didn’t have a hair on my face (then, the question generally is “What the fuck
happened to you?”, to which I like replying “A big wolf bit me”).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This leads to me having the same
conversation and Q&A every time I find myself in a social event. I don’t
mind of course; talking about bodybuilding to me is as fun as talking about
movies, videogames or shooting the shit of any kind—I enjoy it. The only thing that bothers me is that these conversations seem
scripted, so at one point it gets boring. I always get the same questions and I
always give the same answers like a disgraced politician doing damage control. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Generally these conversations take place
with people who aren’t as skinny as I was (because people who are as skinny as
I was don’t like to openly tell a big guy “I want to get big too!”), but still
either want to get more muscular or pretend to so we can keep talking without
any awkward silences.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You know what’s the one constant comment?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;">“Help me out; I’d love bigger muscles! Just remember I don’t want
to get <i>too bulky</i>, you know?”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s incredible how often people tell me
this when they ask me, or anyone (it’s also a mantra in beginner bodybuilding
forums), for bodybuilding advice. I would be surprised if the idea hasn't crossed <i>your </i>own mind as you read this blog. Hell, when I was helping my brother out when
he opened his Crossfit gym, part of what I did was welcome prospective patrons and explain what were the goings-on in the Crossfit gym. Luckily for
them, and my brother, “You don’t get all huge and bulky!” is an effective selling point.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Mjtlb7fYqQI/UosxHDgzNvI/AAAAAAAAA7Q/k9yubMDmSdE/s1600/PhilHeath.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Mjtlb7fYqQI/UosxHDgzNvI/AAAAAAAAA7Q/k9yubMDmSdE/s400/PhilHeath.jpg" width="347" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The face of regret.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Too huge” or "too bulky", in this context, implicitly
refers to bodies like Phil Heath (pictured), Kai Greene, Ronnie Coleman, or any pro who has graced a
FLEX cover in the last thirty years. This, as opposed to a lean but defined body you would find under the shirts of Mattthew McConaughey or that guy from "Drive". While I don’t share the opinion, I
understand why the idea of being <i>so </i>muscular is unappealing to most.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yes, there are a million misconceptions
about bodybuilding, so why should I write a blog post dedicated to this one in
particular?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Because a lot of people don’t want to start lifting heavy weights and begin their growth because they’re afraid they’ll get “too huge”. Now, if I take <i>several</i> steps back, I can more or less
see why someone would ask this, but it’s still hard for me not to
find this concern extremely absurd. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Let me explain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">All right, first off: you could purposefully cycle every anabolic
steroid, HGH and testosterone shot for the next five years and <b>you probably <i>still</i> won’t have that body you want to avoid</b>. Nasser el Sonbaty didn’t
reach 330 lbs accidentally; he worked extremely hard to get and maintain the
body he had. Bodybuilding in that professional level is a 24/7 job that requires
extreme care to exercise, diet, a lot of focus and of course the intelligent and controlled use of very specific drugs. It’s not something
you acquire unless you really, really want it. And even if you really, really
wanted it, it’s likely you won’t get there anyway.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here's another way to look at it. Would you stop practising on your guitar because "I'm afraid I'll become <i>amazing</i> at it"? Of course not. Even if you wanted to, it's not likely you will.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So here’s what I like to ask. What exactly is
the fear of people who want to avoid “getting too bulky”? That one day
they’re gonna fall asleep after a huge meal and a beastly time at the gym, and
then wake up the next day on a broken bed and wearing torn PJs because they
accidentally hulked out of them overnight?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Oh fiddlesticks!” they’d growl in a
frightening new basso. “Now I gone done it! I got too big and ladies won’t want
my bulky freak ass!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ylh39GcXuho/UosxGc8x3WI/AAAAAAAAA7M/FMJPQ0FHMuo/s1600/Hulk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="282" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ylh39GcXuho/UosxGc8x3WI/AAAAAAAAA7M/FMJPQ0FHMuo/s400/Hulk.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Cruel fate! What have I done to deserve this!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">See how absurd it is? Getting huge isn’t
something that just happens suddenly or accidentally. It’s a very slow (though very
rewarding) process. What does this mean? It means that your growth is going to
be gradual and deliberate and you won’t gain a single pound unless you want to
gain it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Again, what does this mean? It means that you’ll always be in complete
control of your body size and you’ll know exactly when you’re finally in the
body you always wanted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And the cool thing that a lot of people
don’t realize is that figuring out your exact dream body is harder than you
think. You never know how your perception of yourself and your wishes will
change as your body does. Maybe right now you want to gain 10 pounds so
you can look like an Abercrombie model, but you don’t know if in a year you
realize that it’s a body like Thor’s what gets the ladies going, and you’ll now want
to gain another 50 pounds. But what if during the two years it took
you to gain those 50 pounds you grew attached to bodybuilding and
you suddenly want to look like Lou Ferrigno.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Right now you don’t know what you do or don't want, but that’s a good thing because you’ll always be in control.
And hell, if one day you realize that you no longer want to be big, you can
always get smaller. It’s not a one way street. You’re not burning any bridges with every curl. Remember the “muscle turns into fat!” thing is the dumbest myth in the sport;
muscle can’t turn into fat any more than gold can turn into a lemon cake.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><b>TL;DR: </b>The absurd fear of getting a body
you don’t want right now should never deter your wish to get out of a body in
which you’re already unhappy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-83368775756313400182013-10-06T22:58:00.002-07:002013-10-06T23:12:36.794-07:00Basic Guide to Gym Etiquette<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I just recently started going to the actual
gym—or rather, the tiny room in my college while they renovate the real
gym—again, and in only two days I got enough inspiration to write this article:
a very basic guide to gym etiquette, because apparently it’s something that
needs to be written.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3YyE892EYgI/UlJJgLu4V3I/AAAAAAAAA0k/r1n7-y-v5_k/s1600/p_846_1326985743.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3YyE892EYgI/UlJJgLu4V3I/AAAAAAAAA0k/r1n7-y-v5_k/s320/p_846_1326985743.jpg" width="308" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Avoid looking like this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Gym etiquette—to say, how to behave while
at the gym—boils down to one simple rule: <b>don’t
be a goddamn asshole.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">That’s it. That’s the rule. You’re done
reading if you want. However, there are many sides to this one rule which you
need to respect from the very, very first day you set foot in a gym. Being new
there doesn’t excuse you of anything or gives you license for anything, just as
much as being a 310 lb Mr. Olympia runner-up doesn’t either. I will outline a
list of basic sub-rules here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Be <i>very</i> respectful, tactful and sensitive.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
<b><i>Golden</i></b>
rule. More so than in life outside the gym.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I don’t give a hairy shit if you’re Brad
Pitt or Phil Heath: if you have the grapes to bully, make fun, make snarky
remarks or otherwise insult another customer at the gym, I wish you the very
worst. If you see a skinny guy having trouble and you just laugh or make fun
with your bros, if you see an overweight girl and make a hurtful comment, you
deserve to be stripped naked, castrated, flayed alive, pissed on by a diabetic
grizzly, and then put to death.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Even if you’re doing it as (what you
consider) a “good-spirited” joke, it’s just deplorable. You never know the
insecurities the object of your jokes is dealing with, and your little jest
might send them back home, never to return to the gym.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Don’t be that guy. <i>Ever</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Bring
a towel, <i>and use it</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MwBrZToMO2E/UlJNUDdH-eI/AAAAAAAAA1M/I7XF_Aw9Sps/s1600/Wipe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MwBrZToMO2E/UlJNUDdH-eI/AAAAAAAAA1M/I7XF_Aw9Sps/s320/Wipe.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"What, you <i>don't </i>want my sweat?!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Many gyms—but not enough—<i>require</i> that you bring a towel along for
you workout. What I don’t understand is how a lot of people don’t really seem
to get why this is being asked of them. They bring a towel along, hang it on
the machine they’re using, do a couple of pull downs, then take it and wipe
their faces.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here’s what that towel is for: to keep your
gross butthole sweat away from others. Among other things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s not to refresh your face after it’s
gotten sweaty. It’s so you put it on the damn seat of the damn machine so you
don’t get sweat on the equipment. And if you do get sweat on the equipment, as
you probably will, so you can wipe it the hell off. No one wants your salty
signature on their clothes, so don’t leave it for them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
And it’s not only that, I mean—<i>you</i>
don’t want <i>someone else’s</i> butthole
sweat on your clothes, do you? Unless you’re into some weird R. Kelly body
fluids fetish (this reference brought to you by the year 2002), chances are
you’re not. It’s just basic hygiene.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t
hog the weights.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sll3Kc2MW6M/UlJLsG5Ch4I/AAAAAAAAA1A/NF8ByRK0bPY/s1600/Hog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sll3Kc2MW6M/UlJLsG5Ch4I/AAAAAAAAA1A/NF8ByRK0bPY/s320/Hog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s easy for people to sometimes feel like
they own the gym. After you’ve been going there for a while sometimes you might
feel like you’re a member of the club of people who goes there more often than
the rest. Hell, maybe you’re even friends with the instructor, so you get to
call the shots.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Nope. The equipment isn’t yours any more
than it is anyone else’s so hogging a bunch of weights without sharing them is
absolutely unacceptable. If you need to do a drop set with dumbbells, you
either make completely sure no one needs any of the weights you’re using, or
replace the exercise with an equivalent in a machine or cables. If you <i>must</i> use three pairs of dumbbells, and
someone else needs them, talk to them and alternate their use.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">If
you’re alternating a machine with someone, return it to the other’s setting.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">If you follow this rule, and you should,
you’ll get frustrated at first because you’ll probably be the only one who does.
Basically, if you find yourself using the same machine as someone else at the
gym, and you’re using different weights, change it for the other after you finish your set so they can start theirs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Say you’re using cables and doing tricep
pulldowns with 100 lbs. Some dude wants to use it to do cable curls with 50
lbs. You should agree to alternate with the guy and when you’re done with your
set, you switch the weight from 100 lbs to 50 lbs for him. Unless the guy is a
total prick, he will do the same for you. Even better, he’ll learn that it’s
the cool thing to do and will do it for someone else next time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Be <i>that</i>
guy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Return
<i>every single</i> weight and bumper you use.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OncnskB373M/UlJLY85BR-I/AAAAAAAAA04/j5XkFbVaV8s/s1600/Squats.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OncnskB373M/UlJLY85BR-I/AAAAAAAAA04/j5XkFbVaV8s/s320/Squats.JPG" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Hey guise check out how much I just squatted!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">If you finish squatting and you leave a
bunch of bumpers on the squat rack for the next person to clean up, you deserve
a special particularly rapey place in hell. You never know who is the next
person who is going to use the squat rack or Smith machine. It might be a
skinny guy or a girl who can’t hope to remove those bumpers. Same goes for
leaving dumbbells on the floor after you’re done with them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You were strong enough to use them you sure
as fuck are going to be strong enough to put them back. Even if you found them
on the floor in the first place, you're better off being the polite guy who puts them back than the one who doesn't give a shit.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t be an attention whore.</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Sometimes, when completing a particularly hard set, you need to grunt a little. It happens; unless you're in Planet Fitness, it's completely okay.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">That being said, don't be that guy/girl who desperately wants everyone to look at you. Don't grunt and yell with every rep. Don't drop the weights heavily (if you brought that deadlift up, you can bring it down!). Don't start dancing to show everyone your enthusiasm and confidence. No one in there is your audience; they don't give a shit. Just do your thing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Seriously, if you're worth being looked at, chances are you are going to be looked at.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Don't correct anyone’s form.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Sometimes you’ll be doing your thing and
you’ll notice some dude next to you doing an exercise wrong—either holding the
weights wrong, not doing a full range of motion, using momentum, or something
else. It’s very important that, <b>unless
you see s/he’s hurting themselves</b>, don’t approach and correct them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here’s the thing: if you’re new to the gym,
chances are you don’t really know what the other guy/girl is doing. There are
many variations to very basic exercises that look like poor form. I was once
doing <a href="http://www.leehayward.com/exercises/forearms/rev_barbell_curl1.jpg">reverse
grip curls</a> and some bro decided I was holding the bar wrong. He might have
meant well, but it was irritating nonetheless.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">If someone approaches you and for whatever
reason asks for help, and <i>you’re 100%
completely positively absolutely sure</i> that you know what you’re talking
about, then go ahead. Otherwise, point him/her towards the gym coach.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="font-size: large;">If you’re bringing your own music, use
headphones.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This is pretty self explanatory. There are few things more irritating, in and outside the gym, than the dude who thinks everyone wants to share their shit music taste. If you don't have headphones, tough shit; you're stuck listening to the repetitive un-tss-un-tss that inexplicably booms in every gym ever.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t
stare.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Don’t stare at the huge guy bench pressing
300 lbs (even if he wants you to). Don’t stare at the skinny guy having trouble
curling 15 lbs. For the love of Jesus’ rock-hard abs, don’t stare at the hot
girl doing seated hip abductions. This shouldn’t have to be said.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">If
you’re going to <strike>pose </strike>check yourself out, don’t get in anyone’s way.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5QnsvOucXCQ/UlJK_v-wTgI/AAAAAAAAA0w/rmZoRr91Ykw/s1600/Narcissus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5QnsvOucXCQ/UlJK_v-wTgI/AAAAAAAAA0w/rmZoRr91Ykw/s400/Narcissus.jpg" width="330" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I can’t really think of any reason why you
would start striking poses in the gym unless you’re Ronnie Coleman and you’re
in Gold’s Gym. That being said—all right, there’s nothing really <i>wrong</i> with posing if you’re preparing
yourself for a show and want to see what you look like with a pump.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">However, the mirrors in the gym aren’t
there for you to check yourself out—they’re in there to let you see your form
from different angles and make sure you’re doing it properly. If you stand in
front of a mirror to check yourself out and are getting in the way of someone
else’s proper use of the mirror, fuck you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Oh and god help you if you take your
fucking shirt off. Unless it’s a Crossfit gym (where it should still fucking
unacceptable), you’re going to reveal yourself as the figuratively biggest
douchebag in town.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Fun story: once I saw a dude get a boner from checking himself out. I am not kidding.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t
chat up the instructor.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This will depend entirely on each
individual gym. Being a gym instructor is a pretty boring job, so many times
they are open for chat and such, but I always recommend not wasting anyone’s
time when you’re at the gym. You should be concerned about your own workout,
not how much the instructor can bench.<br />
<br />
Here’s the thing: chances are these guys have heard the same comments,
compliments and questions a trillion times. A lot of people like befriending
the instructors to get his approval, confirm a sense of belonging and
demonstrate seniority in the gym (remember gyms are both the cradles and graves
of insecurity). Remember you’re more likely to annoy the instructor than you
are to get his approval.<br />
<br />
If for some reason you just need to befriend that guy (whom, remember, is <i>working</i>), test the waters I suppose.
Play it by ear.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Now that doesn’t mean you should stay away
from him/her. As I said, it’s a mostly boring job. If you need his/her
assistance for any reason (you need a spot, help with an exercise, help with a
routine, etc.), please go ahead.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Don’t
chat up anyone else.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The same thing applies for other customers
at the gym. If you’re there with your friends, feel free to chat, but please
don’t bother anyone else. Gym time is, with many people including myself, a
time of peace and meditation. One of the reasons I love going to the gym so
much is that I go to a very zen place when I’m lifting weights, listening to
music.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
I’m particularly anti-social, but trust me: there’s nothing more obnoxious than
having some dude you don’t even know trying to spark up conversation while
you’re trying to do your workout. You’re probably not going to make friends
with that guy; you’re more likely than not just interrupting his groove. Talk
to him when you’re done.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Don’t hit on girls, either. A lot of girls (and guys, too, obviously) are there to be hit on, but you
cannot identify which ones are there to be attention whores and which ones are
there to work out. Save yourself the trouble and just don’t hit on anyone. The
gym is not a bar.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I think that’s it for now. Remember these
rules and respect them. If everyone followed these rules, nobody would hate
going to the gym. It’s up to you whether you want to be the guy who makes
working out a better experience, or if you want to perpetuate the “gyms are
full of douchebags” paradigm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A43N6YYM12E/UlJIp0nlE4I/AAAAAAAAA0c/4xTpL1hFz6k/s1600/CuntholeSteve.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A43N6YYM12E/UlJIp0nlE4I/AAAAAAAAA0c/4xTpL1hFz6k/s400/CuntholeSteve.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Steve is a cunthole. Don't be like Steve.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-50465781301556580282013-05-31T04:18:00.001-07:002014-01-30T00:36:05.528-08:00A Bodybuilder’s Honest Thoughts On Crossfit.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This one goes on for a while. Apparently I
have a shitload to say about this topic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I should probably begin this post saying
that though I don’t currently practice it, I’m no stranger to Crossfit. I was
there when it first reached Mexico, did a couple of the very first WODs, and personally knew
the people who brought it here. I also helped my
brother, for whom I have nothing but respect, open a Crossfit gym, and assist
coached for the first five weeks after its opening. Did many, many WODs,
including a couple of benchmarks. I do know Crossfit.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">That being said, I can start saying why,
though I very much respect most of the people I know who practice and have passion for Crossfit,
I can’t really say the same thing about the discipline itself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NLGTHU5MANQ/UaiCevLO2_I/AAAAAAAAAqM/t4CxN3NBQIY/s1600/rorym_Games2010_AffE2_JTincher_Deadlift_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NLGTHU5MANQ/UaiCevLO2_I/AAAAAAAAAqM/t4CxN3NBQIY/s400/rorym_Games2010_AffE2_JTincher_Deadlift_.jpg" height="278" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These amazing bodies weren't made solely in Crossfit gyms. Sorry.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Like any fitness
discipline, its value is gauged by the results it yields, </span>but this isn’t really a great way to gauge
something like Crossfit, and here’s why. Most people I know who practice it
often do have great physiques and could crush me in terms of fitness any day of
the week. If that was all the information I provided you, you’d think Crossfit
is fool-proof. However, here’s the thing: not one of these guys—not one—started
doing Crossfit from the couch. What this means is that all of them had prior
experience in regular gyms (which by the way the community refers to as “Globo
Gyms”, referencing “Dodgeball” in a condescending and frankly sad attempt to
demonize the competition), and had already developed good to great bodies
through regular exercise.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yes, they definitely became much more fit
through Crossfit, and some of them improved their physiques with a good diet,
but you know what? That shit can be done with <b>any </b>discipline if enough intelligent effort
is applied.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In terms of the fundamental parameters of
fitness, there is absolutely nothing special about Crossfit. Every single
base with which it works is a repackage or reword of classic
bodybuilding dogmas that aren't popular enough.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This seems like something that would be
obvious, right? Yet it isn’t. Crossfit trainers cleverly explain to any new
member how Crossfit differentiates to “Globo Gyms”. This is an attempt to snare guys who want to get fit without going to the regular gym because the regular
gym didn’t give them any results, and Crossfit will.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You know why Globo Gyms (henceforth
referred only as “gyms” because that Globo shit drives me crazy) don’t yield
results as often as Crossfit does? Because <b>there
is no fucking ‘beginner’s lesson’ to regular gyms</b> whereas everyone gets a crash course on their first trip to a Crossfit gym. If people walked into a regular gym knowing what's what (the purpose of this blog), there would be no problem.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Almost everything Crossfit claims
makes it better than regular gyms is a shameless lie that takes advantage of the new
members’ ignorance of regular gyms and how the human body works. These are the things Crossfit offers
that—they claim—don’t apply to gyms:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IcFum6YIDeo/UaiE8NhvuzI/AAAAAAAAAqk/GoTWSLC4-Qg/s1600/tired.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IcFum6YIDeo/UaiE8NhvuzI/AAAAAAAAAqk/GoTWSLC4-Qg/s400/tired.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Remember kids! If you passed out, the workout was effective!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">1.
Functional movements instead of isolation movements.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> Remember how bodybuilders never heard of squats and pull-ups
because we only sit on machines and curl our arms? Probably not because that
shit isn’t true. Everyone in the fitness world knows functional movements work and their benefits.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">2.
Constantly varied. No routines.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> Remember how
bodybuilders do the same shit at the gym all the time? Right, you don’t because that's also a lie. In
order to make muscles grow you need to change shit up every few weeks. Sure,
you don’t change it <i>every day</i> like
they do in Crossfit, but that’s because there’s no real reason to except to
avoid “boredom”. In fact, I'm pretty sure a poor Crossfit trainer will only overtrain his/her gym members because of this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">3.
Quick WODS instead of four hours at the gym. “You can go home in 20 minutes”.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> The only people who spend four hours at the gym aren’t going to the
gym to work out. In fact, whenever I went to do a WOD, between waiting for the
heat to start, warming up, having the WOD explained, and actually doing the
WOD, athletes took about 1 hour or more to go home. That’s what I do when I do
leg day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">4. Everyone can do it. You don’t need prior
fitness experience.</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> This is true. It’s also true
for everything in the history of the universe ever ever. There’s not one single
discipline, artistic, intellectual or athletic, that doesn’t have an entry
level and isn't about progression. I don’t know how this is a selling point.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">5.
It doesn’t make you bulky with huge ugly muscles.</span></b><span lang="EN-US">
Who wants to be huge? No one who cares about big muscles except shitty
monstrous bodybuilders, right? Big muscles, in Crossfit, are seen as a <i>really</i> bad thing because—get this—big
muscles “serve no function”. Let that concept sink in for a second. It’s kind
of a consensus in the Crossfit community that everyone in there can outlift a
bodybuilder. I’ll get to the hilarious “Bodybuilders suck at Crossfit so we’re
better than them” mindset later.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><b>6. It <i>really </i>tires you out. </b>I hate this. Yes, Crossfit tires you out almost to a fault. You know what else tires you out? Every fucking exercise in the world if you do it for enough time or without enough rest. How the hell is this a good thing by itself? Listen, if you don't get tired at the gym, regular or Crossfit, you're doing whatever you're doing wrong.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ttydv5tZ58o/UaiEWVFxxUI/AAAAAAAAAqc/bptj7u-uuaI/s1600/doryphoros2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ttydv5tZ58o/UaiEWVFxxUI/AAAAAAAAAqc/bptj7u-uuaI/s640/doryphoros2.jpg" height="640" width="296" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Undeniable proof that Crossfit has existed for centuries.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Now, like I said, I do know a lot of really
fit, smart people who either share a huge passion for Crossfit or even
own Crossfit gyms. So <b>this isn’t me saying
that Crossfit is garbage, because it isn’t.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">However, for it to really have results you
need to be <i>particularly</i> careful with
your diet. Even more so than bodybuilding. A skinny guy can gain a shitload of
muscle with a solid training regime and a so-so diet. A skinny guy isn’t going
to gain any muscle at all with Crossfit and a so-so diet. In fact, considering
the diet Crossfit uses (the Zone diet), no one is gonna gain any fucking muscle
whatsoever. They’re gonna get stronger, no doubt, and might shed some fat very,
very slowly—but they sure as shit ain’t getting any bigger. I know a lot of
skinny guys who’ve been doing Crossfit for years and haven’t gained a pound.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But why would they
want to get any bigger, right? What’s the point of bulging muscles? Well, the
reason why this is an issue in Crossfit gyms is because <b>big bulging muscles (pro bodybuilders) aren’t considered attractive in
society</b>, and lean muscular shapes (Brad Pitt) are. It really does boil down
to that. Crossfit claims to be about fitness, but in truth it’s the vainest
discipline that has ever existed (this coming from someone who’s actively
defending a sport that’s almost all about aesthetics). It functions and exists
purely because of vanity, which reflects on pretty much everything that goes on
inside a Crossfit gym, even when “Leave your ego at the door” is supposedly a
very important part of their philosophy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Let’s talk a
little about this vanity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">After a WOD you
are encouraged to write your performance on a board for everyone to see. Why?
They claim it is to track your progress but how the hell does writing it on the
board serve that purpose? If you wanted to track your progress you’d do it on a
tiny notebook because that’s only your business. Writing on the board only
helps to compare your performance to everyone else’s and if you’re one of the
elite, flaunt it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This only leads to
people lying about how well they did (I know this for a fact), or feeling
inadequate in comparison to the more experienced athletes. And this has an even
worse effect: newbs try too much too fast. When I helped my brother with
coaching, I had to guard the weights like a gargoyle to make sure no one took
more than they could handle (I remember this one ~140 lb guy who had been there
for 2 weeks and tried to do kettlebell presses with 50 lbs because that was the
prescribed weight).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Thus, the
hilarious <a href="http://i.imgur.com/8dBwyUi.jpg">beginner-to-injury ratio Crossfit is famous for</a> (pic linked a joke). Athletes who are
admittedly great at Crossfit arrogantly conclude that doing something as
all-encompassing as Crossfit so well would logically mean they dominate every
fitness field. What happens then is a lot of injuries caused because of hubris.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It doesn’t stop
there. Crossfit pros also conclude that being experts in Crossfit also turns
them into sports medics, nutritionists, lawyers, builders and superheroes. I
know there is a qualification test that covers a pretty complete albeit shallow
list of things necessary to become a certified Crossfit trainer, but it certainly
isn’t enough.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">You're also very, very likely to walk into a Crossfit gym to find half the population doing their workout, and chilling after doing it, shirtless. They'll probably feed you some bullshit about doing it because it's hot and because the workout they just did is so hardcore they'd sweat a lot, but everyone knows exactly what's going on. Say what you will about regular gyms, but at least they have the decency to ban shirtless workouts because it's unhygienic and frankly kinda gross.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">Not to mention you might as well have a big tattoo on your chest that says "Look at me! I'm a giant douche!"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kB0Pr2Hiwh8/UaiFYlXsQLI/AAAAAAAAAqs/VUFKzxP9gBg/s1600/nfl_g_raylew93_cr_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kB0Pr2Hiwh8/UaiFYlXsQLI/AAAAAAAAAqs/VUFKzxP9gBg/s400/nfl_g_raylew93_cr_400.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I'd like to thank Greg Glassman!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US">But here’s a cool
ideal: Crossfit isn’t something you do for the sake of Crossfit. You do
Crossfit as an addition to any other sports you like to perform. You play
soccer? Surf? Basketball? No problem. Being proficient at Crossfit makes you
sort of a “Jack of all trades” (*cough* and master of none *cough*) and would
immediately make you better at your sport of choice.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yeah except . . .
yeah this isn’t ever the case. I don’t know anyone who does Crossfit for
anything other than becoming better at doing Crossfit. You don’t do Fran in
under </span><st1:time hour="17" minute="0"><span lang="EN-US">5:00</span></st1:time><span lang="EN-US"> to be a better Quarterback, you do Fran in under 5 minutes so next
time you can do Fran in under 4 minutes. Again, nothing wrong with
this—I just feel the need to point out the incongruity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I <i>am</i> aware that a lot of pro athletes,
including NFL players and for some reason a lot of MMA fighters do Crossfit. I
have no doubt it helps them as training but I’d be legit surprised if I saw any
kind of stat that proved that NFL players that train with Crossfit perform
better than players that train in a regular gym, like they’ve done for the last
60 years.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Having gotten that
out of my magnificent chest, let me go into why I think Crossfit works now, and
is probably not a passing fad. Crossfit does have a huge, HUGE benefit that
regular gyms can’t claim: it is great as a social experience; more so than any
gym could ever hope to be.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The reason why so
many athletes become so easily attached to Crossfit as a sport, and become
really loyal to their gym and trainers is because trainers are encouraged to
treat them like friends, and trainers in turn encourage athletes to treat
others as friends with respect.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I love the gym,
but am completely aware of how shitty it can be. A lot of the people there are
either cocky douchebags or detached Hulk-wants-to-be-left-alone assholes (I
fall in this category). Coaches are rarely very helpful or patient, you have to
wait sometimes to use a specific machine, etc.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But in Crossfit,
this is almost unheard of. In just a few weeks of Crossfit I made a lot of
friends, and not just gym friends—I mean “let’s hang out and go to the pub”
friends. The fact that everyone, from the pro trainer to the noob grandma, are
in theory doing the exact same WOD, helps create a very welcoming and fantastic
sense of community and camaraderie.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Wzu2WqVq1Bc/UaiF4-eZTBI/AAAAAAAAAq0/QyBAw3OwSb0/s1600/Cult.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Wzu2WqVq1Bc/UaiF4-eZTBI/AAAAAAAAAq0/QyBAw3OwSb0/s400/Cult.jpg" height="297" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Let us pray the Dirge of Fran, Brothers."</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US">For people who are
insecure about working out, going to a Crossfit gym where they know they’ll be
welcomed and will <i>never ever</i> be
ridiculed for being too weak or too small or too fat, it’s a goddamn godsend. Insecure
people find there a home, and it’s also an amazing tool of motivation. Feeling
lazy today? I’ll go because I’ll see my friends there. It definitely keeps
people going, loyally.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The problem,
though, is that this has a dark side. Crossfit becomes so welcoming to
everyone, from big gym converts, to skinny couch potatoes, to insecure overweight
girls, that it almost begins turning into a cult. Is cult a strong word? Not really; the whole thing becomes borderline creepy. There was a point that
I wanted to freak the fuck out because Crossfit became the center of every
goddamn conversation that happened in my social circles.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Every. Single.
One.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Worse still, all
these conversations are almost scripted. They’re always the same. There is so
much circle-jerking going on in Crossfit gyms I wonder why the mats aren’t
permanently stained with d*ckcheese. It completely becomes about “Us” and
“Them”. Or, more accurately: “Us” versus “Them”.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US">“We the Crossfitters are the Elite. We are the fittest on Earth.
They the globo gym brutes are ugly monsters. They can’t reach their own
assholes to wipe. There is no point in doing anything other than Crossfit. If
you want to run a marathon, don’t train for a marathon—do Crossfit Endurance or
you won’t finish. Are you just jogging now? That’s okay—better than nothing,
while you return to Crossfit. The only reason anyone who doesn't do Crossfit has huge muscles is because of steroids. Why do you even want to have huge muscles? What’s
the point?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">All of these are
actual quotes I’ve heard. I’m not making this shit up, believe it or not.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Then there’s this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YIEgoIPQXBE/UaiGC5OFwfI/AAAAAAAAAq8/xPltNmOFlRk/s1600/Retrard+Crossfit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YIEgoIPQXBE/UaiGC5OFwfI/AAAAAAAAAq8/xPltNmOFlRk/s400/Retrard+Crossfit.jpg" height="313" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The ignorance almost gave me an embolism.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">See? I’m not
making up this “Us versus Them” mentality. I don’t know what ignorant and talentless moron
drew this (I found it ages ago and had to save it because it was so hilariously
infuriating; it even had the artist making some bitter "Enjoy your steroids!" comment) but it reflects the Crossfit frame of mind to a t. It's also weirdly sexist. "A <i>woman </i>beat you? Ha! What a loser!"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There’s a whole
practice about inviting bodybuilders to perform WODs to show how non-functional
they are. There’s even a DVD where they invite a Chiefs linebacker to compare
his performance, which obviously doesn’t measure up, like that is somehow a
testimony of Crossfit’s superiority.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US">
Probably because the pro NFL athlete isn’t as fit as the average Crossfit
athlete, right? Yeah they really want you to believe so. How the shit would
someone who’s never done Crossfit measure up to someone who’s been doing Crossfit
for years? It’s like Ronnie Coleman challenging your mom to see who has bigger
arms. It’s a retarded gauge. It makes zero sense, yet it’s always taken
seriously. I’d love to see the 150lb Crossfit superstar stand behind the
defensive line in an NFL game and <i>not</i>
get filleted. They don’t talk about <i>that</i>
detail, of course.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Holy shit.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ltVLwf8catE/UaiGqm8JkjI/AAAAAAAAArE/OCeH68j8vKI/s1600/beastman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ltVLwf8catE/UaiGqm8JkjI/AAAAAAAAArE/OCeH68j8vKI/s400/beastman.jpg" height="400" width="318" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictorial representation of how the Crossfit<br />
community sees bodybuilders.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US">Okay so I’ve
written a goddamn critical doctoral dissertation here, so I can’t really get
away with saying “I have nothing against Crossfit” at this point, can I? I guess
being a brute Globo Gym bodybuilder who was for years surrounded by Crossfit
trainers and athletes gave me a lot to criticize. Thorn in my paw, I guess.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I do want to
stress this, though:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US">Though I don't think it's anything special, I don’t really have anything against Crossfit as a
discipline. My problem is the <i>community</i>
it creates.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The mindset of
Crossfit cultists becomes so ignorant and one-sided, not to mention
mindlessly critical of every other fitness discipline they see as threats, it’s
borderline psychotic.<br />
<br />
The truth is that, as a sport, you could do a lot worse than Crossfit. You’ll
find in there a welcoming community, a workout regime that will never bore you,
coaches whose jobs depend on being helpful and friendly, and of course physical
results.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Sure, results you could also get in the gym, and quicker, but the truth is that
big gyms aren’t for everyone for a million reasons, and Crossfit pretty much <i>is</i> for everyone. The unbelievable growth
of Crossfit all around the world isn’t an accident and most likely isn’t a fad.
People stick to it because, even if they don’t see huge results, they like
doing it and spending time at the box with new friends.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span lang="EN-US">But I really,
really wish The Cult would stop with the fucking unnecessarily aggressive
antagonizing. It irks me. I find it irksome.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://cdn.styleforum.net/3/37/375a6e39_TooBO.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://cdn.styleforum.net/3/37/375a6e39_TooBO.gif" /></a></div>
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Thanks for reading.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-14588067667976226542013-05-29T03:19:00.002-07:002013-05-29T04:43:08.725-07:007 Common Noobie Bodybuilding Mistakes To Avoid.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Basically this will be a quick review of
all the other “Bodybuilding 101” posts I’ve done thus far.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As I had said before, bodybuilding at any
level is a tough cookie. If it wasn’t, we’d have many more muscular people
walking around. I think that it’s only tough when we don’t really have enough
information to help us avoid the pitfalls that make 90% of noob weightlifters
quit. If we know what we’re doing—and more importantly what we <i>shouldn’t
</i>do—bodybuilding is easier than you can imagine.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So here you are, looking to get bigger, and
here I am trying to show you the stuff I’ve learned during my own yet
unfinished journey. In yours, you’re surely going to face at least seven evils,
so let me try to prepare you for all of them (is this badass motivating enough?
Feeling like a fantasy hero yet?).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In order of how they’re probably going to
come, here they are.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">1. Impatience.</span></span></div>
<div>
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Shit. You’ve been working out <i>really hard</i> during these last few weeks,
and what does that asshole sitting on your bathroom floor tell you about your
weight gain? Only four goddamn pounds! Fuck that thing. Fuck all of this. It’s
not worth it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qV2VxtMy5A8/UaXUfzzYKtI/AAAAAAAAAp0/NVeI5Lhub-g/s1600/Scale-Monster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qV2VxtMy5A8/UaXUfzzYKtI/AAAAAAAAAp0/NVeI5Lhub-g/s320/Scale-Monster.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't let this asshole control your life.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Well, isn’t it? You have to think it
through. You had to know you weren’t going to immediately hulk out (though again if
you do things right you’ll feel you have), but it's too much effort for such measly gains. The only thing left to do is evaluate
your routine and be completely sure that you are doing things right and then <i>be
patient</i>. Do it right, and your muscles will grow.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Guaranteed. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">2. Losing motivation.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There are a million things that can make you lose motivation. You're not seeing enough gains. Your stupid friend says you look like a douchebag. You don't feel like yourself anymore. Whatever it is, you need to make sure if all this hard work for a larger body is really worth it. Generally, it is. Trust me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You're most likely to lose motivation because you're not as big as you wanted to be when you first imagined yourself hitting the gym. Like I said in another post, this is my absolute golden rule:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="color: red;">Don’t look forward to the moment you’ll be monstrous;
look forward to the moment you’ll be bigger than you are now. It’s not far away
at all.<o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It’s as easy as that. Every few pounds will
be 100% noticeable and not only to you but to everyone else. All you need to do
is to keep working until that moment when you notice you’re really changing
(clothes not fitting, constant comments from others, etc.). If you do things
right, you’ll be seeing those changes much sooner than you think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another thought. A lot of people frown upon semi-muscular guys wearing XXS t-shirts just to look bigger. Does it sound douchy? Yeah. Is it douchy? Maybe. But honestly, if making yourself look bigger through placebos will keep you motivated, go ahead and buy the smallest goddamn shirt you see. When you're bigger, your muscles will speak for themselves under an XXL.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">3. Shitty diet.</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You might have started eating more than you
ate before, and that is great, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re eating
enough to grow. Always remember the <a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-nutrition-basics.html">nutrition post</a> and review what
you’re doing with your diet to be completely sure you’re eating enough, because here’s the thing: if you are eating enough, there is absolutely no reason why
you wouldn’t gain weight. So here’s the pro tip:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: red;"><span lang="EN-US">If you’re not gaining any weight, the first
thing you should review is your diet. </span>If you’re 100% certain you’re eating enough go right ahead and fucking eat more.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">4. Overtraining.</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This is very common for people who begin
enjoying exercise and see their muscles grow. It’s
easy to assume that more exercise would logically equal more muscle, but this
isn’t the case, as I said in <a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/04/first-thing-first-supplementing-resting.html">this post</a>, your muscles grow when you’re asleep,
not at the gym. Your muscles need rest to grow, so if you keep assaulting them,
you won’t give them a chance to recover and your gains will stop.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So the advice to give here is to hold your
fucking horses and let your body rest. If you try to accelerate growth by
spending 10 hours at the gym, that guy who’s intelligently lifting less than
you will soon be bigger.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">5. Too many supplements.</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I like to blame/credit the cartoons we saw
as kids for the ideal of a supplement, and the jokes we hear as adults for
their bad reputation. We used to see <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwXcz4OxzIo">cartoon characters take some pills andinstantly become hulks</a>. I know we consciously know this isn’t in any way
possible, but there is a part of us who’d like to believe it is, if only in some
capacity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I know this is true because supplement companies like to hang onto that
fantasy. If you read the labels of things like Muscle Asylum Project products, you’ll see
blurbs like this gem:</span><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>“For individuals devoted to building
21-inch guns, growing a 50-inch chest, benching 4-plates, forcing yourself into
an XXXL shirt, and living the life of a bodybuilding freakshow.*<a href="http://www.advantagesupplements.com/muscle-asylum-project-anabolic-od-2lb.html"> [Actual
Quote]</a></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vt94ZVIr3Ck/UaXUkdFNCpI/AAAAAAAAAp8/l15IO5pxhW8/s1600/Bane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="261" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vt94ZVIr3Ck/UaXUkdFNCpI/AAAAAAAAAp8/l15IO5pxhW8/s400/Bane.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, you fucking wish it was this easy.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><i>*statements not reviewed by the FDA</i>.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Doesn't that sound fucking great? Of course it does but with bodybuilding supplements, "Too good to be true" is a mantra you have to repeat to yourself. These guys are catering to our
little fantasy of almost immediately transforming into a muscular freak from drinking some magic serum. It’s
important that you don’t buy into that because taking too many supplements is
not only very expensive but also dangerous.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">While there are supplements that will
definitely help you safely (we’ll discuss them soon), it’s important you don’t
just take every pill you see the GNC rep recommending. This leads me right into problem number 6:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> </span><b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">6. Not enough
supplements.</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here’s the truth:
supplements are extremely useful, as supplementation. This means as an non-imperative
addition to a solid diet and exercise regimen. There is nothing—not even the very dangerous steroids that do create Kai Greenes and Ronnie Colemans—that
will instantly make your muscles grow.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But that doesn’t mean you should steer away
from all supplements. I generally like to recommend that you start your
bodybuilding experience (to say, the first 8 or so weeks of training) without
supplements because 1, you don’t need them at your current size; 2, you’re
better off learning how to diet properly for now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">However, once you’re past that initial
phase of your training and you’ve put on a few pounds, it’s definitely
recommended that you do begin exploring and experimenting with safe supplements
like whey protein, creatine (which I personally have never used, but has many proven anabolic benefits),
multivitamins, et al.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">If your gains have stopped, and you’re
currently staying away from supplements altogether, it’s a good idea to begin
looking into them. They’ll definitely help. My favorite site for reviews is
<a href="http://supplementreviews.com/">this</a>. Bookmark it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: red;">It’s
extremely important that you research and read reviews for everything you decide to put in your body.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I had a very bad experience with a supplement
once, and I’d hate to see it happen to you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"> </span><b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">7. Not enough rest.</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://brianmillerphoto.com/africa/slides/Sleeping%20lion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="211" src="http://brianmillerphoto.com/africa/slides/Sleeping%20lion.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You think it's a coincidence lions are big? No sir!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Not an extension of overtraining, because
even if you are only training the 60-90 minute workout that’s recommended, it
won’t help much if you don’t get enough rest. By rest I don’t mean every
passing moment when you don’t have a dumbbell in your hands; I mean sleep.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">8 hours of sleep, even if they have to be aggregated
through naps, are necessary for your body to grow. Do your very best to get
enough sleep.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And that is it. Remember all these tips
because they’re pretty much the only real mistakes you could be making that
will stop your gains at this point. Remember this:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="color: red;">There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with
your body. If you’re not growing, you’re doing something wrong.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">See you for the topic-specific posts
starting now!</span></div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-5547985974425274662013-04-08T02:19:00.002-07:002013-04-09T01:00:10.574-07:00First Thing First: Supplementing, Resting, And General Tips.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Okay we’re here in the final “Bodybuilding
101” post. You’ve learned how to get and keep yourself motivated, how to eat,
how to train, and finally we’ll learn how to properly rest to keep growing, and
my views on early supplementation. After this, the posts I write will be a bit
less focused on basics, but hopefully just as helpful for newbies as well as
for more advanced bodybuilders who might be in need of a first, second or
nineteenth opinion.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h4>
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Supplements.</span></span></b></h4>
<div>
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here’s what I think about supplements: they
are fucking awesome. No, seriously, they are. I’m going to be putting up quick
blurb reviews in this blog because naturally not all of them are awesome, but
they are—in my opinion—almost completely necessary to optimize growth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Just not when you start out. This is kind of important and a piece of advice I
will disagree with most other bodybuilders on:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;">Don’t start on any supplement for the first six to eight
weeks of your training.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
After that, feel free to take the right supplements, but for the first two
months, just don’t. Why? Not because they will harm you or anything (though
they might), but at this juncture they are unnecessary. I would much, much
rather you learn how to eat properly first.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Think of this first period of your
bodybuilding life—which I’ve referred to as “Phase One” in this blog—as <i>Bodybuilding Boot Camp</i> (dang that’s what
I should’ve called this section). Supplements are definitely a great help for
continuous gains and growth, but they’re also not free, some can cause damage
if you’re not careful, and most don’t do shit. You need to know what to take
and when to take it, yes, and I will explain in time but for now, don’t touch
them. Rely just on food for now. Learn what meals you like, learn how to cook,
learn how to maintain an appetite.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">We’ll get to protein shakes, energy drinks,
and tasteless powders later.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<h4>
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Resting.</span></span></b> </h4>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Good news: if you work out hard and eat
well, you not only deserve to rest: you pretty much fucking have to.</span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gGc1tuu_jdw/UWKMuaVO_fI/AAAAAAAAAlU/XKrDjsDxAWc/s1600/planet_hulk04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gGc1tuu_jdw/UWKMuaVO_fI/AAAAAAAAAlU/XKrDjsDxAWc/s320/planet_hulk04.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dem Z's are a must.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">People don’t realize this, but muscles
don’t actually grow in the gym (except for the sweet-ass blood engorgement
[that’s what she said] that happens when you exercise, which we call ‘the
pump’), but when you’re asleep. When you’re asleep is when your body recovers
from <i>everything</i> that happened during
the day—physically and mentally. Naturally, this includes the assault you
unleashed on your muscle cells in the gym. That means that the more you sleep,
the faster and more efficiently your body recovers, becomes bigger/stronger, and
allows you to lift again.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;">You have to sleep at least 8 hours every day. Nap whenever
possible.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Lions get it right. For some of you this
sounds like a dream come true because who doesn’t love sleep? It’s pretty much
awesome. However, it’s also not the easiest thing in the world to have a life
that allows an hour at the gym, eight-plus hours of sleep, time in the kitchen,
a job, and a social life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Tough shit, though; sleeping is almost as
important as working out and eating right. Sit down one day and try to create a
schedule around these three important things or your effort might be in vain.
As a subsection here, I’d like to add a little thought on overtraining—a
weightlifter newbie’s bane.<br />
<br />
</span></div>
<h4>
<span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="font-size: large;">Overtraining</span></b></span></h4>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Overtraining is exactly what it sounds
like. Remember how I said before that I couldn’t think of any reason why
someone should spend four hours in the gym? It’s not as easy of lifting more to
get more results. Again, if it was that easy I’d be folding bears with my
monstrously muscular eyelids. The truth is that rest is too important for this
to be a possibility.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The general rule for bulking is that you
should always have at least one but hopefully two rest days a week, if possible
consecutive. Rest days mean rest from lifting and cardio, but <i>not</i> from eating right (though, of
course, a couple of cheat meals a week are encouraged). On the weekends, please
don’t touch a dumbbell, but if possible still stick to your diet for optimal
gains.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Your body will grow consistently for a good
while, but there will eventually be plateaus—both for your whole body and for
specific body parts. Again, every body is different; I had to work legs more
and arms less because when I started my arms blew up but my thighs didn’t. It’s
natural. It’s genetics; even </span><st1:city><st1:place><span lang="EN-US">Arnold</span></st1:place></st1:city><span lang="EN-US"> had a massive chest and comparatively small legs. You will be
tempted to train some muscle groups double or even triple but there is one
thing you need to remember:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;">If working a split routine, give each muscle group at the
very least 72 hours to recover before working it again.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You probably won’t have to do this for
years, but it’s extremely important to keep it in mind, or else your desperate
attempts to have a huge gorilla chest will only keep it from actually growing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<h4>
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">General
Tips for Wellbeing.</span></span></b></h4>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul>
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Don’t let
bodybuilding take over your life.</span></b></li>
</ul>
When people
begin seeing results and feeling the changes they bring to their lives,
it’s easy to become obsessed. It’s important that you don’t let this
happen because it can have very shitty effects on your social life, your
love life, and even bodybuilding itself. There are so many stories about
guys that go to the extreme of asking how masturbating or having sex
affects their bodybuilding. That is fucked. By the way: it doesn’t.<br />
<ul>
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">When in doubt, don’t;
instead, ask.</span></b></li>
</ul>
Bodybuilding is about controlled
injury; don’t let it get out of control because of misguided
experimentation. For this, there’s always the gym coach, your muscular
friend, or another experienced acquaintance. There are also many great sources
online where you can directly ask very knowledgeable people, even pros,
about bodybuilding. <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/bodybuilding">Reddit’s Bodybuilding sub</a> can be very helpful, same
for the <a href="http://forum.bodybuilding.com/">Bodybuilding.com forums</a>, the <a href="http://www.muscleandstrength.com/forum/forum.php">Muscle&Strength forums</a> (where I
started), or this <a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/">mindblowingly fantastic blog</a>.<br />
<ul>
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Research the shit out
of everything you put in your body.</span></b></li>
</ul>
I know I
said no supplements yet, but when the time comes, don’t buy anything off
the stores because a GNC employee recommended it, or because it’s on sale,
or because of the blurbs in the label that prey on the insecurities of
people like you. Use online resources like <a href="http://supplementreviews.com/">SupplementReviews </a>to get
first-hand accounts of users, familiarize yourself with the chemistry of
supplements, learn what does what and what it is you need. Not every
supplement “that works” will really have an effect on you. There are many
‘quintessential’ supps I’ve never taken, and some 'snake oil' supps I can't live without. We'll get to it.<br />
<ul>
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">If you find something
that works, stick with it.</span></b></li>
</ul>
Here comes the
mantra again: every body is different. I guarantee if you follow the stuff
I wrote in this blog you’ll begin to grow. However, the only way to really
know what will make you keep growing is to identify what you’re doing
right and to keep doing it. Yes, there will be diminishing returns, but
that’s when you change what you’re doing—be it your diet, sleep schedule,
workout routine, supplements, etc.<br />
<ul>
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Don’t compare your
body to others’.</span></b></li>
</ul>
This is something I guarantee
you’ll do because it’s just in our nature and it’s almost impossible to
avoid. Either to your delight because you’re bigger than someone else or
your dismay because you’re smaller, you need to try and control the
instinct to compare your body and strength to others. Nothing good ever
comes out of it.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Don’t let the scale make you its bitch.</span></b></li>
</ul>
The scale will be either your best friend or your worst enemy. Standing on it will tell you how much you've grown or how much you haven't, right? Wrong. The truth is that while the scale obviously does give you your current weight, that number can often be a lie, mainly because there are a hundred different factors affecting it. You might be carrying a lot of water weight so it says you're 3 lbs heavier than you really are. You might have had a rough week when you couldn't stop shitting and it says you're 5 lbs lighter. You might have just eaten 2 lbs of Taco Bell. You might be standing on it while wearing 2 lb boots. Weight yourself every month at most, and consider that that number might not be completely accurate. If you ever want to know your exact body mass growth, have a check up. Just not too often.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Finally I’m adding one golden rule: <b><span style="color: red;">Don’t be stupid.</span></b>
I know, this seems condescending but it’s not. It’s simple: don’t be stupid,
and you’ll be fine. Don’t try to squat 250 pounds on your second week because
that one guy in the gym could. Don’t stick a needle in your ass because your
gym coach is selling. Don’t get cocky and try to get into a fight with some
bully because you just gained 10 pounds and mistakenly feel very strong. Be and
stay smart and you’ll be and stay strong.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">That’s it for the basic part of
bodybuilding which should be enough to give you your first several pounds.
Stick around for more stuff, and feel free to contact me either through
comments here or Twitter if you have any doubt.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In case you missed the rest of Bodybuilding
101:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/important-read-this-first.html">IntroductionTo “Wolf In A Gorilla Suit In Gym Clothes”</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-preparing-yourself.html">FirstThings First: Preparing Yourself Mentally</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-nutrition-basics.html">FirstThings First: Nutrition Basics</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-working-out-gym.html">FirstThings First: Working Out & The Gym</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US">First
Things First: Supplementing, Resting, And General Tips.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-52301177947523081382013-03-15T05:27:00.002-07:002013-04-08T02:44:25.532-07:00First Things First: Working Out & The GymHopefully you’ve read the two previous
posts before reading this one. If you did, now you’re mentally prepared, you
know exactly how much food you’re supposed to stuff your face with every day,
and are ready to actually start doing the work. Not the hard work, mind you, as
I think the actual gym is the easiest—not to mention most fun—part in
bodybuilding. You might agree later.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Going to the gym is a daunting prospect for
any skinny guy. You’ll always have the insecurity of looking goofy or stupid,
having others make fun of you, feeling inadequate next to the larger or
stronger guys, etc. Yes, this is a reality you’ll have to face but the good
news is that those fears are largely unfounded. Are there assholes in some
gyms? Definitely, but they’re the minority. The reality is that the biggest
guys in there don’t want to make fun of you—they want you to admire them and
tell them how huge their arms are.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Still, the fear will be there. You know what you have to do now? Well, here’s
this bridge:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q08KOBYntew/UUMTOSfIfHI/AAAAAAAAAkc/nxHlO_OtTmk/s1600/morningr.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="315" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q08KOBYntew/UUMTOSfIfHI/AAAAAAAAAkc/nxHlO_OtTmk/s320/morningr.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Get over it.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yes, you can work out at home if you prefer,
and I’ll give you some excellent tips for it (the first 2 months, I worked out
exclusively at home because the gym was too far away) later. However, working
out at a gym, where a coach can help you out, is optimal. So sack up, get in
your workout clothes and get ready. The gym is going to be your temple from now
on, and you’re going to be going there at least 3, but hopefully 4 times a week
for the next eight weeks. Don’t worry; you won’t be there more than an hour a
day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">What
Machine Do I Use?<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QHAHKEKzh5s/UUMTccL40xI/AAAAAAAAAkk/tHnydNKSqG0/s1600/00SbmO-112361584.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QHAHKEKzh5s/UUMTccL40xI/AAAAAAAAAkk/tHnydNKSqG0/s320/00SbmO-112361584.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured: The Labyrinth of Minos</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Here’s where I’ll differ a bit with the
general bodybuilding consensus. Most bodybuilders suggest a split (as in, split
your week into muscle groups—e.g. Mondays: chest; Tuesday: legs) routine as
opposed to a full body (work your entire body, with fewer sets focusing on each
muscle group) routine when you want to grow. This is definitely true, but I
think that when you start out, it’s better to do so with a full body routine.
Only for the first eight weeks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This will also help, even if a little, with
the horrible soreness you’re going to feel the next days. And boy are you going
to feel it. Get ready for some of that sweet pain.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I could actually sit down here and give you
a full rundown of what machine you should use, for how many sets and how many
reps, but there’s no need. There are a million websites you can visit that will
give you that particular information. If you want my specific recommendation,
I’d give you <a href="http://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/3-introduction-to-bodybuilding-workout.html">this one</a> if you’re working out at a gym and <a href="http://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/dumbbell-only-home-or-gym-fullbody-workout.html">this one</a> if you’re
working out at home.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">Obviously, if you choose to work out at home, you'll need to drop some dough to buy dumbbells, barbells and one of those things you put on your doorframes to do pullups. They're not too expensive, but it's an expense you're gonna be looking at. Good news about buying it is that even if you prefer going to the gym, you'll be able to work out at home if for some reason you can't drive to the weightroom.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">Now, naturally you can use
other resources if you want, or even if possible ask the gym coach once you’re there to
give you a routine (don’t be afraid to do this; they want you to—that job is
boring as hell). The only parameters I’d give you are to make sure it’s a 3 or
4 day, and that it’s full body.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="color: red;">IMPORTANT: Do NOT skip any single exercise or muscle group for <i>any</i> goddamn reason.</span></b><br /><br />Oh you don't care about having big legs? Think again, chicken man; legs are the single most important muscle group to work, and I'll get more into this later. Just remember that these workouts are designed the way they are for a reason. Eventually you'll see how your body reacts and you'll see which muscle groups need more work. For now, stick exactly to the program.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">How
Do I Perform Each Exercise?</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Have you picked one you liked? Great, print
it out. Now, before you go, make sure you study every single exercise you’ll
have to do. <a href="http://www.muscleandstrength.com/">Muscle & Strength</a> has a great database of exercises with informative articles and videos to watch. Familiarize yourself and study the ones you'll be doing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Doing correct form—“form” meaning the exact
movement in which you perform an exercise—is <i>extremely</i> important. It’s much better to do 3 perfect squats than
to do 15 with shitty form.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So again, study the exercises. If you have
any doubts, ask the gym coach or the biggest guy you see there if he’s not too
busy with his own workout (most like being asked to help smaller guys because
Ego). Make sure you <i>feel</i> your muscles
working the weight. It’s a very distinguishable and satisfying feeling.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">How
Much Weight Do I Use?</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ah this part. This part sucks because no
matter how much of a newbie you are in the gym, no one wants to be that guy
who’s using the small dumbbells. Sadly, it’s probable that you’ll be precisely
that guy because, well, yeah—maybe you’re weak right now. You won’t be for
long, but you gotta start somewhere. It’s important to remember that
bodybuilding and fitness in general are about progression; you’ll start in one
end of the dumbbell rack, but soon enough you’ll be reaching for the other end.</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OOY63MBGVhs/UUMTprg7JjI/AAAAAAAAAks/PMWIpUWlaEc/s1600/dum-bells.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OOY63MBGVhs/UUMTprg7JjI/AAAAAAAAAks/PMWIpUWlaEc/s320/dum-bells.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Reminder: these are not poisonous to the touch.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">
The formula I generally like to suggest is that you have to pick a weight with
which you can perform your entire set (8 or 10 or 12 reps) with <i>perfect</i> form, and doing an effort. I
don’t want you picking up a heavy DB to do your 10 curls if you’re gonna be
using momentum and arm swings to get the weight up; likewise, I don’t want you
picking up the 5’s to do 10 perfect dumbbell squats. It needs to be right in
the middle. It needs to be difficult, but it needs to be doable. You’ll feel
your way through.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: red;">I
can’t stress this enough: don’t be embarrassed about picking the smaller plates
and dumbbells for now. If you don't, all you're gonna achieve is getting hurt, and that's the last time you'll see the gym.</span></span></b><br />
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: red;"><br /></span></span></b>
<span lang="EN-US">Sometime in the future, when you look back at how much
weight used to feel heavy for you will make your strength feel so much sweeter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">How Long Do I Stay?</span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As little as you need. I never got why some guys stayed in the gym for four hours. What the fuck could you possibly have to do in the gym for that long? Yes, a lot of people use it to socialize, but you're not there to pick up chicks; you're there to shape your body so what I recommend is get in, do what you have to do, and get out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I think it's best to do your entire routine as it is described, taking roughly 30 seconds between sets, and 2 minutes between exercises. No more. Doing this should, with a regular routine, take no more than 60 to 75 minutes. Hopefully it won't take longer than that because:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><b><span style="color: red;">After one hour of workout your hormonal levels and basic Everythings you need for muscle growth drop. After about 75 minutes, any effort you do in the gym will be wasted.</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So don't waste your time talking to that one friend you found or chatting up the gym coach about nonsense. You're a man on a mission when you're at the gym. Again, it's simple: go in, move some weight around, get out. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">For now, this is enough. I’ll be posting
more about gym etiquette (important) and general workout tips in their own
specific sections. Only one more “Bodybuilding 101” post to go.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In case you missed the rest of Bodybuilding 101:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/important-read-this-first.html">IntroductionTo “Wolf In A Gorilla Suit In Gym Clothes”</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-preparing-yourself.html">FirstThings First: Preparing Yourself Mentally</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-nutrition-basics.html">FirstThings First: Nutrition Basics</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-working-out-gym.html">FirstThings First: Working Out & The Gym</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/04/first-thing-first-supplementing-resting.html">First Things First: Supplementing, Resting, And General Tips.</a></span></div>
</div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-69130218135189468322013-03-05T20:07:00.003-08:002013-05-30T17:41:43.802-07:00First Things First: Nutrition Basics.<a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-preparing-yourself.html">Last post</a> I talked at length about how to
prepare yourself mentally—which is much more important than most bodybuilding
programs say—to begin your transformation. Now, moving on, I need to say there really
aren’t any secrets to getting big so you won’t find here the recipe to the
Magical and Secret Megahulk Elixir ™, mainly because there isn’t one. However,
what you <i>will</i> find here is a good
outline of the most important thing people take too long to understand, or
never do, and give up on bodybuilding blaming their body or some similar
bullshit.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I’m talking about <i>nutrition</i>, a word often wrongfully equaled with <i>diet</i>, a word often wrongfully equaled
with <i>getting a hot fire poker in the
urethra</i>. It’s not that. Nutrition basically just means feeding your muscles
so they can grow after being exercised. To understand this better, let me
explain the process of hypertrophy (that’s “muscle growth” in Fancy) in the
simplest of terms.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Flex your arm. So maybe your arm is small
and weak, but right now you need to ask yourself this: why the hell should it <i>not</i> be small and weak? Your arms have
never before needed size or strength so why the hell would they grow? It’s not
like they’re ever going to need to pick up heavy stuff, right? Your body has
absolutely no reason to think it needs strength.<br />
<br />
Remember 6<sup>th</sup> grade biology when Mrs. Price talked about some dude’s
observation of some birds in some island and came up with the theory of
evolution? Basically we learned that living organisms adapt to their
environment in order to survive. How the hell does the body know how to adapt
and to what?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IYiPGPLdTLc/UTa_gyTbuFI/AAAAAAAAAj4/EC_USbAIwwI/s1600/FUCKING_MIRACLES_by_fuckingmiraclesplz.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IYiPGPLdTLc/UTa_gyTbuFI/AAAAAAAAAj4/EC_USbAIwwI/s400/FUCKING_MIRACLES_by_fuckingmiraclesplz.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But really, organisms know how to adapt and
to what when they find themselves with particular needs. When giraffes needed
long necks to reach them tall leaves so they wouldn’t die, they developed
longer necks through a painfully slow process. Of course this is an extreme
example, but it leads to where I’m going:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;">You
need to trick your body into thinking it needs to adapt, or evolve, by becoming
bigger and stronger.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You do this by working out. Your body can’t
tell the difference between you lifting a pair of dumbbells for the lulz or you
pushing a rock out of your way in order to reach a drink of water. If your body
thinks being stronger is necessary for you to not die, and <i>it has the resources to do it</i>, it will become stronger. You need to
capitalize on this concept, which is where the concept of “surprising your
muscles” comes from. I’ll get to that eventually.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Those resources I’m talking about up there
are, basically, the nutrients found in food. You can have the most brutal
workout the word has ever known, the kind that would make your body think that
you just straight up fought and murdered a wooly mammoth to feed your family,
but if you don’t feed your muscles with the nutrients they need, you know what
will happen?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Fuck. All. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This is why so many people go to the gym
for months, cry, sweat and bleed on the machines, and don’t see any changes in
their bodies. Trying to build muscle without eating enough food is like paying
fifty dudes to build your house, but not supply them with bricks.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Yes. You need food. More than anything, you
need food. Now if you go ask an expert—id est, someone who knows his shit
better than I do—what kind of diet you should take on if your goal is
bulking—bulking (getting big), as opposed to cutting (getting rid of fat), more
on this later—they’ll give you some complicated numbers that will probably make
your head spin at first.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Luckily for you, your goal is becoming huge
and to become huge, you just need to eat like a monster. Of course, you need to
eat the right foods, but don’t bother yourself with the minutiae of
nutrition—it’s not important right now. Measuring your food and counting
calories is for when you want to cut fat. Right now your body is so desperate
to grow it’ll take any decent diet as an excuse to do so.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But let’s not leave it at “decent”. Let’s
make a good diet for you in four easy steps.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">How To Prepare Your “Phase One” Diet.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;">Step
One. Determine your BMR.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">First, you need to figure out your Basal
Metabolic Rate (BMR). This basically determines the rough amount of calories
your body burns every day. There is no math involved, here, don’t worry. Just
go to <a href="http://www.muscleandstrength.com/tools/bmr-and-daily-calorie-calculator.html">this calculator here</a>, fill it up, and write the number it gives you. Pro
tip: bookmark this because this is a process you’ll have to do more than once.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;">Step
Two. Determine your daily intake.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You have your BMR now. I’m guessing it’s
around 2,000 calories? Anyway, you will plot a diet that will give your body
more nutrients than it naturally burns; adding this to a workout plan that
kicks your muscles’ ass at the gym will only give your body one choice: use the
excess nutrients to grow.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Boom. You just became an X-Man. Choose your mutant name.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yalgFsqiNpg/UTbAUspeGHI/AAAAAAAAAkE/QVqfxp7S-Rg/s1600/X-MEN-Logo-psd59239.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="309" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yalgFsqiNpg/UTbAUspeGHI/AAAAAAAAAkE/QVqfxp7S-Rg/s320/X-MEN-Logo-psd59239.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Beast" has been taken twice. Watch it. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">To grow, you need to add ~500 calories to
your BMR, so take that number and add 500. If it was 2,000, we now know that
you need to eat 2,500 calories <i>every day</i>
to grow. Sounds scary? Too much? It’s not, don’t worry.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;">Step
Three. Determine your meal plan.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">You’re probably eating three meals a day
like a normal human being. Well, you’re not a normal human being anymore,
motherfucker, you’re a bodybuilder, <i>and
bodybuilders don’t eat three meals a day like puny humans do!</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">No. You’re going to eat at least five times
a day. Don’t freak out quite yet, though. It’s not as scary as it sounds. It’ll
actually make your life so much easier (since a lot of your life now is
eating). At your current BMR, eating five meals means having to eat around 500
calories each. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So are you still on board? At this point
you need to eat 5 meals of 500 calories each to grow. This is very, very
manageable. Naturally being more active and heavier will mean having to eat
more calories a day, so wait until you’re huge and need to pack in ~4,000
calories to get bigger.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;">Step
Four. Determine your meals.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C3m_SD8cVEM/UTbAlbIBdbI/AAAAAAAAAkM/XQ9Sb0fB0Oc/s1600/strong-man-eating-weird-food.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="316" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C3m_SD8cVEM/UTbAlbIBdbI/AAAAAAAAAkM/XQ9Sb0fB0Oc/s320/strong-man-eating-weird-food.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured: you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">2,500 calories a day? Easy! Just two trips
to McDonalds and we’re set! Well no, sorry. Naturally it’s 2,500 calories of
the <i>right</i> food. Here’s how you find
out the right foods: nutrients are largely divided into three groups:
carbohydrates, protein and fats. Only one of those sounds friendly (the
almighty protein), but truth is we need all three of them. Oh, and here’s the
twist:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Protein isn’t the one you’ll be eating the
most. Nope. It’s carbohydrates. That’s right. You’re going to be eating nearly twice
as many carbs as you eat proteins. Sounds crazy? It’s not. In fact, this is how
you’re going to ratio your food:</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">50%</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> should be carbs.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">30%</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> should be protein.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-US">20%</span></b><span lang="EN-US"> should be fats.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This means that at 2,500 calories, 1,250
should come from carbs; 750 should come from proteins; 500 should come from
fats. You do your own math.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Knowing what food belongs to what group is
tricky at first, luckily there are <a href="http://caloriecount.about.com/">a billion</a> <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/">resources </a><a href="http://www.calorieking.com/">online</a>, not to mention
apps for your phone as reference guides, to help you through. Still, I’ll give you a quick summary
to give you a broad idea: carbs are fruit, vegetables, pasta, bread; protein is
beef, chicken, fish, dairy; fats are seeds, nuts, olive oil, fish oil, etc.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;"><b>I recommend for this "Phase One", that you focus at least one protein heavy meal to take it right after your workout. As soon as you can without throwing up.</b></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span lang="EN-US">Another thing that is important is that, although you need to keep a surplus of calories, you need to watch out and don't overindulge in certain foods. You might be aware that muscles grow through protein, but you need to know that a surplus of protein will not result in a surplus of muscle. Sadly:</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;"><b>Your body can only process about 2 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight a day.</b></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span lang="EN-US">If you take more than that it'll just end up packed into a neat brown trunk floating in your toilet.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: large;"><b>A word on cheat meals:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
You can imagine what "Cheat meals" means. It means a meal in which you cheat on your diet with a sexier diet, one that generally consists of greasy but delicious shit. As a skinny guy, you can get away with shit other people can't, but you shouldn't indulge too much. I recommend having only three or four cheat meals <b>a week</b>.<br />
<br />
No wait, I don't recommend. I encourage it. Cheat meals are great mainly because if taken carefully, they don't work against your growth and they work in favor of your determination. Psychologically, it's very important to have the reassurance that, even if you have to eat this dry chicken breast right now, maybe in two days you'll be able to eat a motherfucking Royale with cheese. Until then, hold the desire; it'll make it taste better.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EXGLbRtsjcI/UWKCGANAY2I/AAAAAAAAAk8/WZY-je0IwQc/s1600/when-your-friend-has-food-but-you-dont.gif" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="215" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EXGLbRtsjcI/UWKCGANAY2I/AAAAAAAAAk8/WZY-je0IwQc/s400/when-your-friend-has-food-but-you-dont.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So there you have it. This is all you need
to know to begin. Figure out your meal plan, buy the correct foods you’ll need
(I’ll make a post about bodybuilding on a budget later), and get ready.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US">In case you missed the rest of Bodybuilding 101:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/important-read-this-first.html">IntroductionTo “Wolf In A Gorilla Suit In Gym Clothes”</a></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-preparing-yourself.html">First Things First: Preparing Yourself Mentally</a></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-nutrition-basics.html">First Things First: Nutrition Basics</a></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-working-out-gym.html">First Things First: Working Out & The Gym</a></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/04/first-thing-first-supplementing-resting.html">First Things First: Supplementing, Resting, And General Tips.</a></span></span></div>
</div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-13388957237254249312013-03-03T04:47:00.001-08:002013-05-29T04:17:45.943-07:00First Things First: Preparing Yourself Mentally.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">There are a million reasons why anyone
would want to get bigger, and very few of them are wrong. Maybe you want a
boost of confidence that you desperately need to make friends. Maybe you want
to turn your body into a project to occupy your mind from crap in your life. Maybe you
want to get more attention from the ladies. Maybe you want to command more
respect and admiration. All common social effects from a large build.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br />
I’m not going to Miyagi this. You have your reasons; hopefully once you grow
you don’t turn yourself into the kind of douche or bully that perpetuates the
shitty image weightlifters and bodybuilders already have. Just be careful and don’t
lose your mind throughout this process.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So whatever your reason, keep it in mind as
motivation and that’ll make it easier for you. Now, with that thought, let me
give you some quick tips you shouldn’t forget.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"></span></div>
<ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0cm;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Set a goal, but not
in stone.<o:p></o:p></span></b></li>
</ol>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o12d3CdWAPA/UTNBuv8fuEI/AAAAAAAAAjk/pA_hwxnOYC4/s1600/Goals.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="242" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-o12d3CdWAPA/UTNBuv8fuEI/AAAAAAAAAjk/pA_hwxnOYC4/s320/Goals.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Both are acceptable goals. It's up to you.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">Maybe you want
to look like Brad Pitt in “Fight Club”. Good news! That won’t take too long.
Maybe you want to look like Ronnie Coleman in 1999. Bad news! You have decades of work ahead of you. It doesn’t matter.
Whichever your goal is, have it clear in your head, but don’t be afraid to
change it. When I started I was sure that I just wanted to weigh around 160
lbs. When I got there, I thought I wanted 180. Now I’m at 220 and don’t have
any intention to stop before reaching 250, if I can. God knows what happens then. Feel every pound you gain
and decide where you want to go next. You might even get too big for your taste and want to slim back down.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<ol start="2" style="margin-top: 0cm;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Keep it in the down
low.<o:p></o:p></span></b></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">This will sound
strange, but hear me out. Now that you’ve decided to grow, do your best to not
be vocal about it. Don’t spam Facebook and Twitter with dramatic announcements
of how you’ve decided to change and will start working out. Because of shit
like “Friends”, a lot of people are under the impression that ‘friendly
bullying’ is a bonding experience, and there’s always some fucking asshole that
will make fun of you for it. “Oh man, I just imagined your puny ass working out
and it was hilarious!” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">Those coonts don't realize how crushing that is to hear, so keep it to
yourself at first; your body will speak volumes later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<ol start="3" style="margin-top: 0cm;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Don’t be afraid to
take compliments.<o:p></o:p></span></b></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">If you want to get bigger, there’s a chance you’re an insecure guy,
which is nothing to be ashamed of (even the hugest motherfuckers in the world
have insecurities like yours). When 10lbs from now someone you know notices
your growth and compliments it, take it with a smile and a thank you. You’re
not a douche for being proud of your achievement. These compliments are one of
the most important things that will keep you motivated. This brings me to . . .</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<ol start="4" style="margin-top: 0cm;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Be proud, but not too
much.<o:p></o:p></span></b></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">When you start
to see gains, make sure you feel proud of every goddamn pound you put on
because it’s a badge of your effort. It’s important to always be convinced that
you’re working hard for it, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself.
Remember it’s great to be proud of your work, but it’s even better to also be
humble. Don’t let it get to your head. Your friends and family will be grateful.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br />
<br /></div>
<ol start="5" style="margin-top: 0cm;" type="1">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UbQE4MjBD3c/UTNBujN7A9I/AAAAAAAAAjg/9vdl0roJ-4U/s1600/batman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UbQE4MjBD3c/UTNBujN7A9I/AAAAAAAAAjg/9vdl0roJ-4U/s400/batman.jpg" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See? Hulking nerd. As real as Batman!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Never forget what it's like to be small and weak.</span></b></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">If a couple of
years from now you’re a lumbering giant, don’t be the kind of lumbering giant that throws
his weight around. A lot of people claim—and I love this hypothesis—that
‘roid rage’ is sort of a myth, and that working out just turns you into a
bigger version of what you are. If you’re a skinny asshole, you’ll become a
muscular asshole, and those guys suck. Wanting respect is one thing, trying to
bully it out of others is a whole other one. I really feel some people don't deserve strength.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<ol start="6" style="margin-top: 0cm;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Take criticism whence it's coming.<o:p></o:p></span></b></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">Remember when I
said that muscular guys have a bad rep? Because of some very legit reasons—*cough*jerseyshore*cough*—people
are way too quick to call anyone who is in shape “a douche”. A lot of people use this as a defense mechanism: convincing themselves that anyone with arms
bigger than 11 inches is “a douche” is a way for out of shape people to rationalize their own poor body
shape. "Well yeah, I could be big, but then I'd be a douchebag, and I hate douchebags so I'd rather just be a twig."</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">You’re
not building a character in Skyrim here. You’re not trading away intelligence
for strength. If you’re a smart guy now, why not be a smart guy who can bench press
300 lbs? Like motherf*cking Batman.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">Now, perhaps the most important one:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<ol start="7" style="margin-top: 0cm;" type="1">
<li class="MsoNormal"><b><span lang="EN-US">Take it pound by
pound.<o:p></o:p></span></b></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">It might take
years and years to get the body you want. Yes, it’s discouraging to think that
you won’t be <i>huge </i>for years, but here’s what people don’t tell you: <i>you will
feel gigantic with every pound you gain</i>. It will take only weeks before you
notice changes, and that’s all you’ll need to work for the next pound. And the
next, and the next, and the next.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 35.4pt;">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="color: red;">Don’t look forward to the moment you’ll be huge; look
forward to the moment you’ll be bigger than you are now. It really isn’t very
far away at all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">I think these
are the first mind-and-motivation tips I can give you to start out. There will
be several others posted in the “Mind Flexing” section as I write them out.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 18.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US">Keep reading as
I post some early nutrition tips to get started.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US">In case you missed the rest of Bodybuilding 101:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/important-read-this-first.html">IntroductionTo “Wolf In A Gorilla Suit In Gym Clothes”</a></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-preparing-yourself.html">FirstThings First: Preparing Yourself Mentally</a></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-nutrition-basics.html">FirstThings First: Nutrition Basics</a></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-working-out-gym.html">FirstThings First: Working Out & The Gym</a></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/04/first-thing-first-supplementing-resting.html">First Things First: Supplementing, Resting, And General Tips.</a></span></span></div>
</div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-19834804152839897712013-03-03T00:24:00.002-08:002013-05-29T04:11:45.089-07:00Important: Read This FirstHopefully this is the first thing you read
in this blog. It’s important that this is the case, because otherwise you’ll
close the tab never to be back again. Now, all right, this might not change
even after you read this, but hey—at least you gave me a fair chance to explain
exactly what the hell I’m doing here.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The first thing I must say is that this
blog has one specific purpose: <b>to help
skinny guys get huge, naturally.</b> You won’t find here information on cutting
and reducing fat, where to buy equipment, how to cycle steroids, or anything
like that. If you’re reading this, you’re a small fellow looking to get large fellow.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rsJwwMeIAz4/UTMF66YmayI/AAAAAAAAAjA/3O8Ixj8MKUY/s1600/Kai.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rsJwwMeIAz4/UTMF66YmayI/AAAAAAAAAjA/3O8Ixj8MKUY/s1600/Kai.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Behold!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Okay you don’t have to get Kai Greene huge. You
can stop whenever you want. So if you’re still on board, let’s continue.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So here’s the deal. Bodybuilding and
weightlifting in general get a bad rep, and weightlifters are often thought of
as brutes whose only talent is “lifting heavy things now so I can lift heavier
things later. *grunt*” Is this the case sometimes? Absolutely! I suppose the
stereotype exists for a reason—but like all stereotypes, it’s mostly bogus.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">If bodybuilding was as easy as lifting
heavy things, every skinny guy who ever walked into a gym would become a
monster, and every fat guy who stepped on a treadmill would get ripped.
Consider this: how many times have people you know—or even yourself—decided to turn your
life around and get fit, only to give up after two weeks because of a complete
lack of results despite hours of effort and sweat in the gym?</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><br />
That’s right, a metric shitload. And here’s the truth:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: red;">Making
your muscles grow is easy. You don’t need dangerous or scary supplements. You
just need to know what you're doing.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">And you likely don’t. There are so many ways people rationalize their lack of results. "I'm naturally skinny." "My metabolism is too fast!" "I just can't gain weight!" blah, blah, blah. Bullshit. The load of it. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US">This is when I get
into my own story. This is me circa 2007:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wtM5OV_kOps/UTMGOvM0-rI/AAAAAAAAAjI/c6tCkq1Hhjg/s1600/Before.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wtM5OV_kOps/UTMGOvM0-rI/AAAAAAAAAjI/c6tCkq1Hhjg/s400/Before.jpg" width="285" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The girly dude, not the amorphous blob.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I was tearing up the scale at a whopping
120 lbs. I hated being so puny, as many small guys do (and probably lie about).
I had several false starts when I went to the gym for a couple of months and
saw absolutely no results except maybe a bit of strength gains.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I remember in late 2009 browsing the double-u-double-u-double-u and making the decision of trying again, only this time did the thing I
should’ve done ages ago: some actual fucking research. So I discovered about
nutrition; specifically, the very simple rule of eat like a motherfather. I got my first "nice arms" two weeks later.<br />
<br />
It was that easy. </span>At first.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">This is me at the end of 2012:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JSebgj-SgKw/UTMGbg4xiLI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/tbrENfsSu_8/s1600/After.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JSebgj-SgKw/UTMGbg4xiLI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/tbrENfsSu_8/s400/After.png" width="257" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#NoFilter #JustOutOfOcean</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I haven’t stepped on a scale in a few
weeks, but I was somewhere around 220 lbs then; I might be a big heavier
now—dunno; I don’t pay that much attention to the scale (lesson #1!).</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">In three years (the pic is from 07, but I started working out in 09), I gained more or less 100
lbs. I haven’t used steroids of any sort (I’m too much of a pussy for that
stuff). It’s changed my life in every way, and I’ll talk about the details in
due time. Am I done? No, not really. Who knows how much more I can change—I
intend to find out.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><br />
So this is where I want to differentiate this from other blogs:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">I
will focus on one thing: bulking tips for naturally skinny guys.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Ectomorphs, hardgainers, or whatever you
want to call yourselves. I don’t know squat (ha!) about cutting, cycling AAS,
etc.; but I do have first-hand experience in dramatic muscle growth. I can help
there.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">This
is aimed at the casual bodybuilder.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I personally have no interest in
competitive bodybuilding. I love working out, I love sculpting my body. I love
becoming stronger. I don’t much care about posing and being judged. I respect
that side of the sport, no doubt, but it’s not for me—chances are it’s not for
you either. You can decide along the way.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">I
don’t set strict rules.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I personally don’t subscribe to <i>almost </i>any
of the bodybuilding circle jerks and conventions, and doing precisely
that—challenging the cynical already-set “rules”—has given me great success.
With that philosophy in mind, I’d like you to read what I write and do with it
what you choose, assuming of course that you have the one goal: to grow.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><br />To make this clearer, I don't believe in strict programs because I don't think they are much good. Every body reacts different to certain stimulus. I'd rather tell you what I know and you figure out through experimentation how your body reacts to bodybuilding, and use it to capitalize on that.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-size: large;">Zero
bullshit policy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I have absolutely no reason to lie to you. I’m
not selling some shitty PDF. I don’t get a cent out of this blog. I won't ask for donations. I know—why
even have it, right? I don’t know. I like writing, for one. But also, I know there
are others out there who, like me, want to change their bodies. I can just give
you the guarantee that if you learn the basics, you can take off on your own,
as you learn how your body reacts to certain things, like I did.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">So that’s basically it. I’m giving you
something you can choose to take, or ignore. If you pay attention, at least to the basics, I guarantee your muscles will grow
and you’ll see results incredibly fast—just learn from my experience and then
craft your own.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><br />
Please enjoy and if you do, please share.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>BODYBUILDING 101</b> </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: start;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/important-read-this-first.html">IntroductionTo “Wolf In A Gorilla Suit In Gym Clothes”</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-preparing-yourself.html">First Things First: Preparing Yourself Mentally</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-nutrition-basics.html">First Things First: Nutrition Basics</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/03/first-things-first-working-out-gym.html">First Things First: Working Out & The Gym</a></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://wolfinagorillasuitingymclothes.blogspot.mx/2013/04/first-thing-first-supplementing-resting.html">First Things First: Supplementing, Resting, And General Tips.</a></span></div>
</div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1087881679013210696.post-30001007341357328512013-03-02T23:08:00.002-08:002013-03-03T00:25:09.378-08:00Introduction<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Just <i>reading </i>this blog makes you huge*.</span></h2>
New blog. New topic. Same writing style. Having been through some stuff lately, I decided to finally launch "Wolf In A Gorilla Suit (In Gym Clotes)", the awkardly named bodybuilding brother of <a href="http://wolfinagorillasuit.blogspot.mx/">my media blog</a>, the idea of which I had been toying with for a while.<br />
<br />
During this following week I'm gonna start filling this bitch with some very important information, the kind I just immediately need to get out in the open to try and differentiate myself from the ten thousand trillion other bodybuilding bloggers out there. I legit believe I have shit to say about this because I've experienced a dramatic change myself, and this is shit that will probably help skinny fellows who want to change their bodies and lives but haven't been able to thanks to crappy sites, misinformed friends, and misguided instincts.<br />
<br />
So kindly disregard this first post, and wait a little bit while I start outlining each individual column, writing the very important "About" post, and get things rolling.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*though probably not. Guess it can't hurt to experiment and just read it a lot.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
The Damn Beasthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728942954338328675noreply@blogger.com0